好想说句。。。

I don't knw hw to start expressing.. By accident, I saw e Instagram of my long long lost friend.. A very very very best friend of mine years ago.. I knw she has been doing very well, without me. Perhaps, she had never thought about me since then. But, I'm still reminded about her once in a while. 

Although I still think I'm not fully at fault over e incident, I feel like apologizing. I'm unsure why. Maybe she still blame me though, but I could bring myself to apologise either. At least up till this very moment. I guess, tts us. This way. Nobody would have thought this would happened. We used to be so close, now, we're less than strangers. 

Most likely, for my entire life, I wouldn't be able to meet her again, neither would our friendship be able to mend or be like before. A crack, tt would never be as good as new. 

I still think of her times when I'm doing things or buying stuffs or even singing songs tt we used to sing tgt. Those memory, will always etched in my mind. I clearly knw, she has forgotten. Despite tt, I'm really happy for her. She's leading e kind of life tt she wants. 

This blog is a space for myself, I would let anybody knw, just because I'm to keep these secret to myself. Thus, I would say all I want to tell her deep in my heart. Though nobody including this best friend of mine will ever see this. I guess I just need something to vent out my thoughts.

Xiuzhen, u are not forgotten by me. Somewhere deep in my heart, u still stay, as my one and only best friend. Forever. I'm truly sorry tt things turn out this way which was beyond all tt we expected. Sometimes, some part in me, some muscle in my heart and hand, wants very much to talk to u again. But I always stopped myself. I still rmb words tt u told me. U say u are not able to forgive. Initially, I also thought so tt I'm unable to forgive u. Years goes by, I realize u are still my best friend, even though I blame u, am angry with u, or even hated u. Times and again, I really hope u had once feel e same as me. But I knw, u were too hurt... I am as well, u didn't knw. And I didn't tell anyone. 或者我真的没有给你一次机会说明白。Maybe in life, we are bound to leave/lose some friends so dear to us. Only then we knw hw to treasure what's ahead of us and destiny just chose us. 

Anyway, I truly wish u all e best in life. Believe it or not, u are always my best friend. Since e first day we met in school. 希望你过得更好。但愿我们下一世，可以再成为最好的朋友。我告诉自己，一定会珍惜。